Here are 5 must knows about the Dolly Parton diet:
1> What is it that stands out about Dolly Parton? Is it her infectious southern accent? Is it her prolific singing career culminating in that magnanimous hit ‘9 to 5’ ? NO! What stands out is her tiny waist with those massive gazonges!
Would you like gazonges like hers ? then read on!
2> First you must learn the recipe to this miracle soup:
6 med onions
2 large green peppers
1 med celery
1 can whole tomatoes
2Tbspoons dry onion soup mix
The key to this recipe is not to make the soup but just to learn the recipe by heart and say it out loud all the time. Yes this is the magic formula to an unhealthily thin waist line and overly sized bosom.
Dolly would literally spend hours just saying those words over and over….”6 medium onions,2 large green peppers,1 medium celery…etc,etc..” It becomes like a whole culinary meditation.
3> The Balloon and starvation effect.
Now I like country and western music just as much as the next neo-fascist, but there’s one thing I can tell you – It doesn’t guarantee weight loss. And certainly not weight loss with the increased breast size that we are looking for.
I don’t know if Dolly used this next technique but I know it works because it worked for me : Don’t eat!
Yes, starvation is a great weight loss technique and is widely used among freaks worldwide. But starvation is not enough on its own – in order to get the Parton parcels , we need to use the balloon. Now this may sound a little ‘out there’ but don’t knock it till you try it: Make friends with 2 big balloons -any colour is fine – then take them out to dinner, catch an early movie, go to the park , just hang around and chat. Soon enough they will tell you the secret to there big roundness and you will be sorted!
4> Listen to our music :
This next one is self explanatory – we don’t guarantee weight loss but you will end up bouncing those boobies that you have newly acquired. Hear us at www.btraqband.com
5> Pick your nose in public: if anyone asks , I never told you this. Will it make you lose weight? Less snot = Less weight – you do the math!
For those of you that don’t know how , here are some examples: