My pseudo-name is Fazza. I have been asked to make this funny! At the moment I feel about as funny as a bullfrog that’s just wandered onto a busy intersection. So if you will indulge a rather sombre bullfrog , I think you might find that an interesting story is about to emerge.
I’d like to talk about B-Traq’s most recent gig. We were called upon to present ourselves at the arts on main market on Thursday evening. A certain prestige was felt by the band as we entered into the already bustling market space rather late for our sound check. Why were we late? Now let me stop here if I may – those that have seen me perform know that I am a hard-core funk man who likes his drinks strong and his women even stronger.
On this particular evening though I may not have been quite as powerful as I would have liked to. So, how do I put this? let’s just say that the previous evening I had eaten something rather dodgy and that it was difficult for me to leave the safe haven of my toilet seat. I made it to the car several times with the best of intentions but alas only to find myself running back inside like some war-torn soldier heading for the trench. Just in time my stomach gave me a brief reprieve and I made it to the market – haggard but alive!
Then the RAIN! It came down ! that’s its best direction. Rain is not good on the up thing. We were supposed to play outside. I am not a calm person. I need order and law- in that order. When things go wobbly , I wobble. And things were going wobbly.
We waited. It rained. We waited. It rained. This was not working.
Our performance was set for 9. We needed 45min to setup with no sound check.
Here I need to admit something that 100 years ago would have been seen as a noble action. Today, it just doesn’t fly. I prayed! And not in that sort of back of the mind God help me prayer, no, no – I was virtually on my knees. And even though I am a liberal , open-minded , modern, intellectual shmuck- God came to the party and stopped the water falling. for a bit!
And then we played- and again it felt like God had come to the party – cause we rocked that place , even the cockroaches were getting it on! Until the 6th song. Now many of you may not know this but unlike me God can keep his sense of humour through the roughest times and he was on form that night. During this song called ‘Yemenite cruiser’ , God decided to hit Makati , our chilled bassist, with a couple of large raindrops on the back of his neck- this really freaked him out and he started playing the notes from ‘uptown girl’ by Billy Joel , a song he doesn’t even know.The whole band sort of moved into a weird 80’s cosmic confusion and we were only saved by the crash of an incredible loud thunder. I consoled the band later that it was the first time my stomach had made a sound like that. Luckily, everyone took it as the storm coming and proceeded to disperse like wild ants.
It did in fact start pouring very soon but the band and the crowd loved the gig anyway. No thanks to God!